Almost everyone is in search of some extra motivation around their health and fitness. There seems to be a general thought that motivation is something you find and then possess. In reality, being motivated is something that you do. It is how you act that creates and maintains motivation. This includes the words that you use and conversations that you have.

For motivation in any area of your life you need a clear image or sense of feeling about either the consequences of failure to take action or the benefits of doing so. In areas where you are successful you will usually have fairly easy access to these mental motivators. In fact, it is usually so ingrained that it is part of your subconscious already. In any area where you are not so successful the clarity of access to this motivation is usually absent. Especially if struggling with health & fitness. 

There are certain conversations that will help your motivation. I have outlined some of these below. The reason conversations are so powerful is by telling someone else it brings both reality, accountability and room for growth to your thoughts. You cannot get this by just hiding away in your own jungle of internal thoughts.

Conversations To Increase Motivation –

1) Tell Someone Why You Want To Achieve Your Goals

This is a great way to clarify the benefits of why you want to get in shape. Tell someone why it is important for you to achieve your goals, tell them how it would make your life better. The conversation may go like – 

“I am really on a fitness and food drive at the moment, I want to  ______ (lose xx kg, increase fitness etc) as this will make my life much better because I will feel  ____________ and if I felt this way I would  _____________”

E.g. Weight – “I am hitting the gym 3 times a week at the moment and have cut out all junk foods. I want to lose 21 Kg, this will allow me to feel light, confident and happy with myself as a person. If I felt this way it would change so many aspects of my life. I would go out more, see my friends. I would be better at my job and be less moody around my partner. I would not have this sense of dread that hangs over me a lot”. 

E.g. Fitness – “I am on a major fitness drive right now, I want to learn to run and get strong. This will allow me to feel energised, strong and fit. I will be confident in how i move. This will make me feel proud, alive and free, I would be able to keep up with the kids, get back to being active. Basically feel alive again as a person and go adventures abroad such as walking in the Alps”. 

Be wary of the conversation being turned back to facts such as discussing the goal, amount of weight to lose etc or the ABC’s of what to do like food and exercise plans. Instead keep it about why you want the goal and feelings around it. In reality most people want to talk about themselves so another way to have this conversation is to say: 

“Why is health & fitness important to you? How does it make you feel? How does this feeling benefit your life?”

2) Tell Someone About The Consequences Of Not Achieving Your Goal

Expand and clarify the problems that will arise by not achieving your goal or moving forwards from where you are currently. Discuss how it is difficult in your current state and how this makes you feel. Talk about what this would mean if you were not to change one or two years further down the line. The conversation may go like –  

“I really want to change my ______ (body/fitness/health). In this current state I feel ________ and this has negative consequences such as _______. If I do not make a change right now in a year or two I will feel ___________ and this would mean I _________.

E.g. Weight* – “I must change my body, my waist is about 4 inches more than it used to be. I feel so heavy and lethargic, none of my clothes fit which makes me feel down each time I put things on and I am not confident when giving presentations at work. This means I not as good as I could be at work right now and also affects my relationship as I am not so outgoing. If this hadn’t changed a year or two down the line then this would be beyond a total disaster and I would feel ashamed and be of really low confidence.” 

E.g. Fitness – “I need to sort my fitness out, I can barely walk up the stairs without getting out of breath, my knees and back and have started to ache recently from inactivity and this means I have no confidence do anything sporting or active. This makes me feel so old, if this doesn’t change in a year  or two down the line I am going to be 50 yet feel like I am 80. That would be horrible.” 

If easier start this conversation off by asking about their goals –

“What do think are the consequences of not achieving your health & fitness goals in the future? How does that make you feel? What are the downsides of where you are today?”.

*Watch out for people with good intentions trying to dismiss your concerns for not being true. While objectively facts may be debated in motivational terms this area has the most potential to create deep drive as we do more to avoid pain than to chase pleasure. In this world of ‘body positive’ many people will not be happy to read the above lines about being ashamed etc.

I discussed this in my book Change Your Thinking – Change Your Shape that this motivation method is not necessary but if you have that internal dialogue already in your thought patterns you can use it to your advantage to create behaviour change. Long term acceptance and inspiration is the most effective way to create change while not beating yourself up. There is a fine line between the two. I will have this all covered in my new book which I am beavering away on right now though it is still a long way off being finished.

Using Conversations As Motivators

There are numerous other conversation topics that can create motivation. I will put these into a part 2 as I have gone on for ages right now. As for getting the best out of this in terms of motivation you should talk about one of the above two subjects EVERY day with someone. There is no way I would have been able to get to 4% body fat without having this sort of conversation pretty much daily with one of my training partners.

There is something powerful about talking about these topics out loud with real people over keeping it in your head, especially as for many struggling for motivation health & fitness thoughts never get the time of day between all their other worries crowding these thoughts out. 

This is why having a coach or trainer can be so beneficial as there is someone who wants to listen to these conversations and of course will ask about them in the first place.  

Photo – Daily Conversations Were Vital To Help Me Get To 4% Body Fat>>>





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