|
Change Your Thinking – Change Your Shape –
Daily Motivation Tips – Handling friends and other people
Some of the biggest battles for getting into shape is the influence of friends. The biggest influence from friends is simply how they reinforce your own existing beliefs. If you want to do something then your friends influence can become very strong, but when you do not want to do it deep down their influence is fairly irrelevant.
I do not drink, my friends do not harass me about it, I do not feel I am missing out, it is not a drama. If I did want to drink, I bet I would find myself under all sorts of pressure from these same friends. The difference is not them, it is me. So if you are feeling pressured by your friends the first place to look is always at your own thoughts and beliefs. Other things to note about friends;
1) Friends care about themselves first, you second –
Sorry to break this illusion, but that is life. You do the same in return as well, it is human nature. The closer the friend the less the gap between their needs and yours but do understand that human nature means we always put yourself first. For example, if I have an excess of emotion and I need to get drunk to smother it, do not expect me to be too receptive to your new non drinking phase. I must first sort out my own issue (excessive emotion) then I can worry about you and your new idea.
2) Any changes you make should be in your life not theirs –
To make any changes in your life you will have to make sure the implications do not negatively affect your friends. You can always find a way to do both but it may take a little thinking. I am never failed to be amazed by how many boyfriends have to join in their girlfriends new diet ideas. Make your own choice first, then sort it so that your friends are still comfortable doing what they used to do, as opposed to trying to change them or stopping seeing your friends, or criticizing them for doing it because now you do not do it etc.
3) Get them to join you –
An easy way is to just get them on board at some level in the programme. Even if they are just aware of what you are doing they will be more helpful. Obviously they may not want to pay money like you have perhaps, e.g. to join a gym, but maybe get them a guest pass. The simplest way is to just invite them on here (go to left hand of the page and click share – Say hey, these daily emails are interesting, join up it is free…………do not say……hey, you are fat and out of shape, read this!)
4)Find some friends who love doing what you are trying to do –
If I am trying to give up drinking I may just find life a lot easier if I perhaps had some non drinking friends! It is obvious! If I want to go to the gym, find some gym goer friends. If I am trying to eat well hang out with people who are not emotional eaters! This does not mean sack your other friends, but just try to get some degree of balance. If you cannot find any of these then come spend some time with me but prepare for traveling stories and cat photos.
5)Be wary of friends pacts – In general these are all along the lines of “ hey, let’s suffer together as we give up our favourite foods!” It is a poor idea to begin with and only gets worse when one of you breaks it and thus you both decide to go crazy and eat as much food as you can etc. If you are going to work out in unison with a friend then great but remember you are an individual in that pact. Depending on the friend they may pull you down as much as they push you up.
6)Lead your friends – A fairly well proven method of increasing your own motivation is to be in charge of motivating others. It raises your own standards to new level.
Mind – Body change exercise
- Who are the people who influence your health and fitness efforts in negative way?
- What can you do to counter these people?
Helping you Change your thinking and change your shape…
Ben Wilson
Sign up for daily motivation tips
To receive daily motivation from me simply input your name and email below.
|
